Are you being too harsh or too lazy?

The middle way in befriending ourselves

Dear Friend, 

How are you doing? I am doing good. I met an interesting challenge this week: how to find balance in befriending myself.

Parent’s wisdom

Some months ago, I told my mother that I would publish a weekly newsletter. She immediately told me “ Every Friday? That’s a lot “.

She was worried that I would be overwhelmed with an intense schedule. 

And you know what? Mothers have very often the right intuition.
The moral of this letter is “Listen to your Mama”. 

Thursday night’ story

On a more serious note, I wanted to publish the letter as usual last Friday.

However, on Thursday evening, I had an unusual insomnia in the middle of the night. The lack of sleep impacted the next few days and I fell behind the schedule.

I decided to be a good friend for myself instead of a tyrannical boss and pushed back the publication of the letter. 

Words of love

I changed the way I was talking to myself, from

• “You have to be productive and publish no matter what, before the deadline” 

  
  to:

• “Do one thing at a time from the to-do list, it will take as long as needed but take care also of your body and mind.”

It did alleviate the unnecessary stress I was putting on myself.

Find your why

However, I notice that I also easily crawl back in comfort and laziness.

I could go on like this and every day for months find excuses why I don’t have time to write. 

Which made me reflect on what those letters meant to me.
By the way, what does it mean to you, reader?  

I like the process of writing down in a blog my findings of the week for my family and friends. 

A new rhythm

That is why I want to make sure I can sustain it without pressuring me in an unhealthy way.

I am slowing down the rhythm for now until further notice. 
Green Tea&Black Ink will be every second Sunday. 

ART

“Nyoze, As is it” by Maden Fura

Nyoze is a Zen calligraphy expression that means “Suchness” or “As it is”. 

Gerow Reece’s poem

As the Calligraph and Tea ceremony practitioner, Gerow Reece says: “Meet life as it is, make room for acceptance or recognition of the present moment.”

I felt touched by this lovely poem he wrote about gratitude : 

So, without "should" but with awareness, 
Let us return again and again 
To this moment, this place 
Most gratefully 

by Gerow Reece

How do we greet reality?

This weekend I was quite frustrated not to be able to proceed with the plan of publishing the newsletter this Friday.

But beyond the “shoulds”, there is an invitation to meet the present circumstances. 

Reality is “ As it is”.
Do we greet it with judgment or with gratitude? 

ZEN

Self-discipline and self-compassion

Do you sometimes struggle with self-discipline? 

Do you feel perplexed when you hear about befriending yourself but still achieving? 

Are you afraid to end up as a potato coach if you listen to yourself instead of realizing your higher self? 

I don’t have definite answers, but I would like to try a new format of sharing Zen stories, that might help you in daily situations. 

The musician and the gut string 

A musician is struggling with his spiritual practice and asks for guidance : 

“How to control my mind during meditation – should I hold on tight or let go completely?”

The teacher responds with a question: "What happens when you tune the strings of your instrument too tightly?" 

The musician replies that the strings will break. 

The teacher then asks, "And what happens if they are too loose?" 

The musician replies: no sound comes out.

The ideal state is similar to a perfectly tuned string – there's a balance between determined focus and allowing thoughts to flow naturally. 

Not too tight and not too loose

This tale is often told as the experience of the Buddha. Before enlightenment, his extreme asceticism was like the overly tightened strings - harsh and unsustainable.

Just as the lute needed a balance between tightness and looseness to create music, the path of the Buddha needed a middle way to meet enlightenment.

This applies also to any personnel challenge: physical activity, relationship, work…

To avoid counterproductive burnout and injuries, you need to find your personal point of “not too tight, not too loose”.  

FOOD

Lemon & Ginger water 

Spring is definitely coming but temperatures are still cold. 

In the morning, I currently enjoy drinking freshly squeezed lemon and ginger in lukewarm water. 

It’s hydrating, warming, and tingly with a sour and peppery flavor. Some even say that it gives a well-needed immunity boost. 

Take action today 

Pick one domain of your life where you are currently putting in some effort. 

Sit for a moment and objectively notice: are you being too loose? Are you being too tight? 
Adjust if needed

See you next, next Sunday,
Maden

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